It’s National Mentoring Month, so we’re looking at some facts and tips about mentoring here at THF.

If you’re the person saying, “I’m too $@%&ed up to be a mentor” I’m going to have to say, that’s very unlikely. If you…

1. Abuse kids in any form.
2. Have massive emotional issues that might stop you from interacting well with anyone.
3. Only do things for yourself that you like and want to do ALL the time.
4. Hate all small humans.

Then ok, maybe you are too messed up to be a mentor. Although, if issues 3-4 are your problems, I’d still say give it a try, because you just might surprise yourself.

Common misconceptions:

I’m not normal enough: What’s normal? I’ve known mentors who are pierced, have green hair, and club hop in their free time. I’ve also known mentors who wear suits, mentors who are stay-at-home mamas, and more. Normal is relative, it’s how you interact with a child that matters.

I’m not smart enough: 5 word for you – formal education is SO overrated. Yeah I went to college, but I was also a high school drop out AND I know that I’ve learned more from living life than I’ve learned from earning my degrees. Anyone, no matter their education has something to offer a child. Don’t believe me, read one of my favorite articles of all time: 101 Ways To Get Educated.

I’m not all that together: A mentor doesn’t have to be perfect, they just have to be present. When I was young adult, I was that person who club hopped, stayed out late, and honestly, I probably could have been a little nicer to my peers – less snippy. However, as a mentor, I did ok. The kids I’ve worked with don’t care what I’m like in my personal life, they only care that I took the time to take them to the art fair or helped them with homework. In the end, mentoring did improve me as a whole person too, so there’s that bonus.

I have my own kids to deal with: Think about it. You have time for one more. Mentoring can take as little as one hour a week. The bonus of working with a kid who is not your own is that there’s no pressure. You get to have fun, hang out, and not worry about bedtimes, doctors appointments, or any of that parenting jazz. I mentored when I was childless, and then after my son arrived too. The mentoring is always a fun break and may even give you ideas about how to interact with a child in new ways, ways that can benefit your children.

I’m too (white, black, old, gay, male, Jewish, young, fat, deaf, disabled, or otherwise not the same as who you think the ideal mentor is): Mentors come in all shapes, sizes, colors, personalities, and abilities. And keep in mind that there are kids of all shapes and sizes and abilities who need a mentor too. You are the PERFECT fit for one child out there.

If you’ve considered mentoring, but keep making lame excuses about not being good enough, normal enough, or say things like, “But I can’t even keep my house clean” I think you need to rethink the situation. Excuses only do two things; stop you from expanding and learning new things and stop one child from getting the mentor he or she deserves.

Learn more about mentoring a child at Mentoring.org.

Post from: Tree Hugging Family

I’ve been meaning to tell you that January is National Mentoring Month which makes it the perfect time to jump on the mentoring bandwagon.

I’ve mentored with many programs; Big Sisters of America, school programs, a bully mentoring program and more. I’ve always gotten something positive out of the experience, and even better, so do the kids. I posted about my mentoring experiences in a previous post here at THF. Another b5 blogger who has also been a mentor is Tracee of Blog Fabulous. You can read about Tracee’s mentoring in the post Giving Time.

The National Mentoring Month Campaign has posted 10 cool things to do this January that can help you get started with mentoring.

1. “Become a mentor in your community.
2. Learn more about mentoring.
3. Partner with a mentoring organization.
4. Tell 5 friends about National Mentoring Month.
5. Think about the mentors in your life and post a tribute to them online.
6. Watch videos of celebrities such as Quincy Jones, Sting, Cal Ripken, Jr., talk about the mentors in their lives.
7. Read the latest research and find resources on mentoring.
8. Go to YouTube on Thank Your Mentor Day (January 22nd) and make the National Mentoring Month videos the most popular of the day!
9. Serve your community on MLK Day of Service by deciding to become a mentor.
10. Make a donation to a mentoring organization in your community“

If you read my mentoring post, you’ll see that I myself had a mentor growing up. That was a good thing because I came from a… let’s say, questionable family situation, and without my mentor, I may have turned out pretty screwed up. That said, mentoring is a very important topic to me so I’ll be posting some more information about this during the remainder of the month.

Have you mentored – or at least thought about giving it a whirl?

Post from: Tree Hugging Family

Kate over at Babylune has carved out her own version of one small step. She’s running a contest this month called The Generous December Group Writing Project. Her challenge, “On your own blog, write a new post about your favorite charity, social cause or helpful organization.”

What you win; in Kate’s words:

“The author of the winning post, the one that is most persuasive in convincing me of the organization’s effectiveness and importance of the need it addresses, will receive nothing. Instead, I will make a donation in their name to the charity or cause they have designated in their post. The amount of the donation depends on the number of participants.

If I receive between 1 and 19 entries, the donation will total $30.

If I receive between 20 and 50 links to participating posts, it will total $60.

If I receive more than 50 entries, the donation to the charity/cause of the winner’s choice will be $100.”

Such a great idea.

There are plenty of organizations I’m a fan of, Habitat for Humanity, Sierra Club, and more. It can be hard to choose a favorite but the organizations that I feel make the most long-term difference to the world are…

Youth mentoring programs and with good reason.

As a child, my siblings and I grew up in a rather, um… interesting home. A long story for another time. We could have turned out pretty screwy based on our upbringing. But we didn’t. As a young adult I knew people in turmoil, leading sad lives, being mean to others, and often they might say, “Well, this is how I was raised.” Often times their story was no where near as crazy as my childhood. So, how come I’m not mean? Why don’t I act loony and take advantage of people. What was the difference between them and I?

I had one adult who believed in me.

My mother did a lot of stupid things. But one stupid thing she did probably saved me (and my brother and sis). One night when I was five she went out to the bars. When she came home she had a man with her. Not smart. It’s never very cool to pick up people in bars. I lucked out because this guy was actually cool. He had a mom who became like a grandma to me — no, not like, I completely consider her my grandma he also had a sister who became an aunt to my siblings and I. My mom and this guy broke up a year later but his family strangely hung around. I spent weekends with his mom, she taught me to sew, paint, cook, gave me unlimited attention, hugs, told me I was amazing, all the things a child should have to thrive. This guy’s family came to every holiday, every birthday, and adored my siblings and I like we’d been born into their family. That’s the short version.

I’m stable and a good parent. I’m nice. I feel for others. My siblings are nice people — great friends. Had it not been for “some guy” at a bar, that chance meeting; I doubt I’d be who I am today. I appreciate this fact more than I can ever explain. In my early twenties I realized that it would be impossible to ever pay them back. I can never thank them enough. Ever. So, I decided the next best thing would be to pay it forward.

I started mentoring youth through various programs, through schools, and after school clubs, and other places. One of my favorite programs is Big Brothers Big Sisters of America. So, far I’ve been a big sister twice. In both Oregon and California. My littles (that’s what we call the little sisters), were both from families with negative issues. One of my littles from a very bad family. The best thing about Big Sisters is that the organization works very hard to match you — almost like you’re going on a blind date. Both my littles had likes and dislikes very similar to mine; making it easy to hang out and have fun.

Fun stuff I got to do as a mentor included; picnics, movies, beach clean-ups, tree plantings, reading, walks, art fairs, and sometimes just chilling out and doing out hair and chatting. My littles asked me about boys, make-up, school, how to paint flowers, family issues, all kinds of amazing things.

I think that every adult lucky enough to have a nice and happy life should mentor. There’s one child out there somewhere who can benefit from what you can give. Teens, single folks, and parents can all mentor. There’s even a grandparent’s program where Big Sisters will match up a child with a couple (grandparents).

Research backs up the Big Brother / Sister program. After 18 months of spending time with their Bigs, the Little Brothers and Little Sisters were:

• “46% less likely to begin using illegal drugs
• 27% less likely to begin using alcohol
• 52% less likely to skip school
• 37% less likely to skip a class
• more confident of their performance in schoolwork
• one-third less likely to hit someone
• getting along better with their families”

Kids raised in extremely negative homes who somehow managed to carve out a positive adult life are know as resilient. Guess what research has found to be the only major difference between resilient and non-resilient youth? One adult, just one, who gave them positive attention and care.

I knew one Big Sister who was with her little for over twenty years. Her little hated school, hated life, was sad all the time. Her big sister mentored her, convinced her to attend college, and then later got to clap for her at her college graduation. I know a man who had four kids of his own but still decided he had a little more to give and he spent hours each week with one little boy playing basketball and chatting about life.

If you think you don’t have time to give one hour a week to one child then consider this; back when I first stared mentoring statistics showed that there were little boys on the wait list for a big brother for over seven years. Imagine being that little boy. Imagine never getting a big brother when you want one and need one. There are girls on the waiting list too but since more women mentor than men they don’t wait as long. Consider that these kids are are future. Our teachers, doctors, social workers, artists, tree planters, and parents or they may be our criminals. These are the children who will either create havoc or create positive decisions and change. Which would you rather have?

As someone who had a non-official mentor and as someone who has mentored over twenty kids; including homeless youth and school bullies, I can say that programs like this create positive change that cycles. If just one of the kids I’ve worked with grows up happier than I’m glad. What I think will happen, what I hope for, is that even one of the kids I’ve worked with will not only grow up positive and happy but that they will also pay it forward. They’ll grow up and become a mentor. And so on and so on.

As a collective community we’ve forgotten that it does take a village to raise a child. Big Brothers Big Sisters of America is working towards a community who not only remembers this fact but participates in making it happen. Don’t allow children to sit and wait for a mentor. You could be the difference that changes one child’s life forever.

Small steps. One hour a week. Big changes.

To learn more about becoming a mentor visit the official program website or your local Big Brothers Big Sisters chapter. If this mentor program is not for you than hunt down another through your local school system.

If you have an organization you’d like to support please visit Babylune to learn more about The Generous December Group Writing Project.

Post from: Tree Hugging Family