The original post with some updated wishes:

First off Cedar is allowed to watch TV whenever he wants; which I’ve mentioned before. We just don’t have arbitrary limits on most stuff like food or TV. He typically doesn’t watch that much. He’d rather play outside, do art projects, build Legos, read stories, or play computer.

BUT that hasn’t stopped his little sponge brain from soaking in and memorizing every single commercial on TV.

Here’s a typical conversation: (I’m not making this up, I swear).

Cedar: Mama, do I have life insurance coverage?
Me: Um, no.
Cedar: Did you know I can get coverage with no health exam and peace of mine [I'm fairly certain he meant "peace of mind"]
Me: ?…
Cedar: With the Gerber Grow Up plan my money will increase when I turn 21.
Me: I don’t think it works how you think it does — you don’t just get money.
Cedar: Oh.

Stuff Cedar is dying for based on the commercial:

• AQUA DOTS!!! — this used to be all I’d hear about until they were banned due to massive kid dangers.
• Cake decorating sets
• Recording phones
• Those plastic bags that compress your sheets into space saving bags (what the?)
• The Safe Side Video (we got this one)
• Cereal straws (gross)
• A bank loan
• A travel trailer
• A Wendy’s frosty shake – by the way he hates fast food, he won’t eat it. So, whatever.
• Some kiddie roll out bed that doubles as a chair
• This horrible item
• A ladies purse, mainly I think, because it can hold an umbrella, or so he says.
• There’s always some DVD or video game that looks good to him.
• And more.

Now, keep in mind this is the stuff he wants, not the stuff he gets.

Our conversation about this last night:

Because this is our topic of the week, I thought I’d ask Cedar some questions about commercials to see what he had to say. He’s 7 years old, pretty up to date on green issues (as much as a little can be), and is actually not too materialistic, at least compared to some other kids I know. So this is where he’s coming from, but it turns out that commercials still confuse him. We’ve discuss material possessions often, and their impact on the earth and our home, but we don’t actually discuss advertising much at all. So….

Me: Why do you think there are commercials?

C: Why do you think?

Me: Well, do you have any idea why they show you cereal straws on TV?

C: Maybe to show you how cool they are…

Me: And maybe because they want you to buy the cereal straws, right?

C: I don’t know.

Me: Did you know about the straws before you saw the commercial?

C: No.

Me: Do you feel like you want the cereal straws because you saw them on TV?

C: No.

Me: But you asked for them… Why did you want them then?

C: Because you can munch, munch, munch them!

Ok, so it’s evident that commercials are good at targeting kids, because the “munch, munch, munch” line is straight out of the commercial. Yet, Cedar was acting like he had no clue that the commercial actually told him that. Since he’s obviously lost when it comes to understanding this from a commercialism point of view, how can I talk to him about what’s worth buying, and what’s not?

Here’s what works for me: This also includes what I’ve seen work for other parents.

First you need to get your own relationship with having stuff under control. If you don’t the rest of my tips will never work for you. If you veto purchases for your children, but usually give into your own buying whims, not only won’t your child listen to you, but they’ll think you’re being totally unfair, and they’ll be right.

Second, I believe in talking about costs of items from a young age. Cedar started to “get” money and it’s worth last year, but that didn’t stop me from talking about it before that. Before he could tell the difference between a nickel and a hundred dollar bill, I’d say things like, “If we buy the toy, we won’t be able to get the apples, and you like apples for breakfast” that doesn’t always work. At times Cedar was willing to give up the apples. Then I’d just say, “Food is healthy, we need it, we can live without a toy,” and leave it at that. Obviously, the younger the kid, the more your final say will affect the outcome of purchases.

Now Cedar understands money better and I’ll just say, we need this much for bills, this much to save, and then we have this left to spare. Then we try to make a decision about what to do with the extra money. Save it, buy something, go somewhere. We weigh pros and cons together.

Lastly, in our case, Cedar understands that the reason he gets to be at home with me, not at school is because we use our money wisely. I don’t have to work out of the house. He’s old enough to get that concept. Many homeschooled kids I know appreciate this slant on saving money. If you talk to your child about the time you spend together vs. having more stuff, they’ll likely get it as well.

When it comes to buying stuff, I usually ask myself some questions:

• Do I need it?
• If I do need it, will I actually use it?
• Can I use something else I already have to accomplish the same thing?
• Is it recyclable, reusable, something that will last a long time?
• Do I REALLY need it? I tend to ask this twice to make sure I do need it. Sometimes I change my mind.
• Do I want it? So far as wants, not needs go, I consider how happy it will make me, vs. how long it takes to pay off. Say that I know it takes me 2 hours of blogging to bring in the money needed for the item – is it worth it to me?

When I was new to the idea of minimization, I actually carried those questions around with me on a slip of paper. It helped a lot. I taped it to my wallet and looked at it before making a decision.

When it comes to Cedar, I ask him the same type of questions. Last week he wanted a ring from a vending machine. That’s pretty useless and there’s plastic waste, but he had his own 25 cents so it was, in the end, up to him. I asked him if he thought the extra plastic was a bad thing for the planet. He said, “Yes, but I have a plan” – he knew I’d ask, because I always ask. He bought the ring, and hasn’t taken it off for a week, so I guess he enjoys it. And he did do something with the plastic; once we got home he stuffed it with pennies, and proclaimed it a perfect change holder. While not entirely useful, it shows he’s giving some thought to reuse.

When it comes to food items, like the munching cereal straws, he’s not getting them, because he can’t come up with a good argument for all the extra packaging. What he can do, is choose something with less packaging instead. If he makes a smart decision regarding an item’s packaging, I usually let him get it. If it’s too much $, I go back to the old we have to make compromises speech.

Cedar is not one of those kids who cries and hollers when he doesn’t get what he wants. He’s not perfect (you should see him on car trips) but he doesn’t get whiny about stuff. I think that this is because I’ve involved him in the purchasing process since he was too small to even get it. We always talked about smart buying, saving for what we really want, recycling, and so on. I think he feels like he’s part of the conversation; it’s not just me telling him what’s going to happen.

Or I’m just lucky – but I bet it has to do with our discussions.

I’ll have more tips later – quicker one liner tips even, much to everyone’s relief I’m sure after this long post. How do you discuss stuff and purchases with your kids.

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Post from: Tree Hugging Family

• Kids aged 4-12 spent $30 billion on purchases in one year – and that was back in 2002.
• The average kid sees about 40,000 ads on television each year, not including ad placement in shows.
• Research shows that until about age 8, kids can’t grasp the scope of advertising. I.e. they have no clue they’re being sold to. Some research shows that kids aged 12 and up, including teens still failed to recognize advertising placement in many shows, print ads, and even in some commercials.
• A recent study noted that the more materialistic a child, the less likely they were to participate in eco-activities, like turning lights off and taking shorter showers.
• That same study noted that materialistic children tend to be less happy, report anxiety, and feel less secure than less materialistic children.

Marketers do control the country, and our kid’s views – any doubts? Check this out…

• The American Academy of Pediatric Dentists accepted a $1 million grant from Coke, and then (surprisingly) decided that, “Hey, Coke’s not so bad for teeth as we thought.” Lame.
• According to Commercial Free Childhood, the Cat In the Hat movie contained about 181 product pushes, not including food.
• Channel One (remember that show in middle school?) shows regular junk food ads and is shown to more than 8 million teens yearly.
• One review of school supplies from corporate funders, found that over 80% of the supplies had biases for consumption or commercialism of some sort.

You can check out the entire Commercial Free Childhood 28 page report to see research sources and learn more. Later some ideas about what we can do to fight this massive consumer idealism.

Most organizations against childhood commercialism note that you should turn off the TV and quit buying junk food – which is sort of like a band aid, and not very useful in my opinion. I have some other ideas I’ll share later.

Post from: Tree Hugging Family

As important as this topic is, many adults can’t even manage to free themselves from commercialism, so how do we also handle kids, who seem almost physically prone to want material items.

That’s what we’ll be covering this week – all week. It’s an important topic, so although, obviously, I’ll be the one posting, I want you to let me know what you think as well.

I think that the New American Dream organization sums up some major components of living with less stuff nicely. There’s more to it, of course, but to get started, here are three main points:

1. Live consciously: be more aware of what really matters in life.
2. Buy wisely: make each purchase, or decision not to purchase stand out.
3. Make a difference: use your actions and words to deal with commercialism.

Without all three components, living less commercially is less successful. Why do you think that is?

I’ll be back to kick this topic off soon.

Post from: Tree Hugging Family