I’m too $@%&ed up to be a mentor

Doubtful.

It’s National Mentoring Month, so we’re looking at some facts and tips about mentoring here at THF.

If you’re the person saying, “I’m too $@%&ed up to be a mentor” I’m going to have to say, that’s very unlikely. If you…

1. Abuse kids in any form.
2. Have massive emotional issues that might stop you from interacting well with anyone.
3. Only do things for yourself that you like and want to do ALL the time.
4. Hate all small humans.

Then ok, maybe you are too messed up to be a mentor. Although, if issues 3-4 are your problems, I’d still say give it a try, because you just might surprise yourself.

Common misconceptions:

I’m not normal enough: What’s normal? I’ve known mentors who are pierced, have green hair, and club hop in their free time. I’ve also known mentors who wear suits, mentors who are stay-at-home mamas, and more. Normal is relative, it’s how you interact with a child that matters.

I’m not smart enough: 5 word for you – formal education is SO overrated. Yeah I went to college, but I was also a high school drop out AND I know that I’ve learned more from living life than I’ve learned from earning my degrees. Anyone, no matter their education has something to offer a child. Don’t believe me, read one of my favorite articles of all time: 101 Ways To Get Educated.

I’m not all that together: A mentor doesn’t have to be perfect, they just have to be present. When I was young adult, I was that person who club hopped, stayed out late, and honestly, I probably could have been a little nicer to my peers – less snippy. However, as a mentor, I did ok. The kids I’ve worked with don’t care what I’m like in my personal life, they only care that I took the time to take them to the art fair or helped them with homework. In the end, mentoring did improve me as a whole person too, so there’s that bonus.

I have my own kids to deal with: Think about it. You have time for one more. Mentoring can take as little as one hour a week. The bonus of working with a kid who is not your own is that there’s no pressure. You get to have fun, hang out, and not worry about bedtimes, doctors appointments, or any of that parenting jazz. I mentored when I was childless, and then after my son arrived too. The mentoring is always a fun break and may even give you ideas about how to interact with a child in new ways, ways that can benefit your children.

I’m too (white, black, old, gay, male, Jewish, young, fat, deaf, disabled, or otherwise not the same as who you think the ideal mentor is): Mentors come in all shapes, sizes, colors, personalities, and abilities. And keep in mind that there are kids of all shapes and sizes and abilities who need a mentor too. You are the PERFECT fit for one child out there.

If you’ve considered mentoring, but keep making lame excuses about not being good enough, normal enough, or say things like, “But I can’t even keep my house clean” I think you need to rethink the situation. Excuses only do two things; stop you from expanding and learning new things and stop one child from getting the mentor he or she deserves.

Learn more about mentoring a child at Mentoring.org.